


All I need

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 18:35:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: Emotions rise high when feelings get repressed





	All I need

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
This fic got done in the aftermath of Chapter 10, back when we all had a breakdown :D  
Enjoy! <3

It has been a full week. A week since Miami. A week since his slip of control. A week since the best evening of his life, even if only for a short part.

And a week since he last talked to her normally.

She was actively avoiding him. When they were passing each other in the hall she would avoid looking at him. The only conversations that were happening between them were strictly professional.

There was pain. So much pain. He tried to keep himself together when he was at work, but the second he stepped through the door of his apartment he would break down. His eyes would water. His mind would go to her with or without his permission. Her face right before his eyes. He couldn’t believe it, his mind was unable to grasp the fact that this woman was able to catch his mind, body, soul and heart in her tiny hands and grip so tightly he would never be able to escape.

He knew. Deep down, somewhere beneath all the layers of his mind, he knew that he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t want her. He shouldn’t _need_ her. He shouldn’t imagine her, deep and late in the night, her eyes sparkling and smiling at him every time he closed his eyes to try and get some sleep. He shouldn’t be seeking her out in the hospital, even though he knew she would avoid his gaze, his touch. The only moments that they spent together was Naveen. Despite their… situation, they were able to maintain a decent enough relationship to take care of his mentor.

He was meters away from Naveen’s room when he heard voices from the inside. He peeked in to see who and what they were talking about. Claire was sitting by Naveen’s bed, the most relaxed he’s seen her this past week. They were both laughing about something. Then suddenly their conversation seemed to take on a serious tone. His mentor reached out to grab her hand, patting it gently. He could hear pieces of their words.

“… he’s always been like this, desperately hanging on to his morals, his rules and his beliefs. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s all new to him, he’s never been in a situation like this.”

“I… I just wish he would talk to me. He refused to say anything about it and I am tired…” she started mumbling, her words not clear enough for him to understand. She suddenly stood up and wiped her cheeks, then started checking his results.

He chose that moment to walk in, his eyes on her and only her. He greeted Naveen, straying his eyes towards him for just a second but it was enough. He saw him smirking at him.

“I have to go see how my patients are doing. Hang on tight, Naveen, I’ll see you later. Dr. Ramsey.” She bowed her head slightly and went out the door, not looking back, her posture stiff. He looked at her as she was leaving, a pained expression on his face.

“You really fell hard, didn’t you?” Naveen spoke clearly, without a sliver of doubt in his voice. Ethan’s head turned around to face the old man.

“I don’t…”

“Ethan, you may be fooling yourself. You may try to fool _her._ But I know you. You won’t fool me. Like it or not, you either are falling in love or you already love her. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You should be happy. Finding someone to share your life with is a blessing. Hand on to her. She wants you too. You know that.”

“I cannot, Naveen. You know why.”

“Why? Because your own mind won’t be able to grasp the fact that it can focus on something more than work?”

“I won’t be the reason she cannot have the career she deserves. She’s brilliant, Naveen. If we do this and someone finds out… they would never think seriously of her. There would always be that one person who would talk about her being favored.”

“I think you worry too much. Do you really think you will be able to stand by and watch her move on? Be with somebody else?”

He was stunned. His mind didn’t even consider this. Was he really able to watch her with another man?

_Of course not. You know that._

A few days passed, not much has changed. They still didn’t talk. He was still hurt. His heart was being destroyed, day by day. Meanwhile Claire was not doing much better. She was in a terrible state and while she couldn’t let her friends know what was going on or that anything was going on at all, in the privacy of her room she was slowly deteriorating. She couldn’t understand why he refused to talk to her about it. What was happening in that beautiful mind of his that paralyzed him so much? She was standing by the nurse’s station, reading over the file she just got when Bryce approached her.

“Hey, Herondale! How’s your day?” he flashed her a smile, trying to charm her, no doubt.

Too bad she was interested in someone else.

“Not bad, what about you?”

“Better, now that you are here.” He took a step towards her, his hand on her arm. She was a little uncomfortable but that was Bryce. He probably didn’t realize she didn’t appreciate his advances.

“Bryce, have I ever told you how good of a friend you are?” she smiled apologetically, seeing a shadow pass his face.

He didn’t have the opportunity to reply though, because a new voice entered the conversation.

“Dr. Herondale, if you would be so kind to keep your private affairs outside of the hospital, that would be great. Get back to work.” He said, but it sounded more like a bark. Without another word he stormed off, not looking back.

“Is it just me or is he more on edge as of late?” Bryce tried to joke but she wasn’t in the mood for humor. “Thanks for your honesty. You are a great friend, too.” She patted her his arm and went back to her work, a plan already forming in her head.

Her shift ended four hours later. The second she was done she went towards his office, knowing he would be here. She knocked on his door and upon hearing a quiet “Come in” she entered the room and closed the door behind her.

“Would you mind telling me what was that supposed to mean?” she demanded, her voice stern and hurt. He looked up, surprised to see her. Second passed before his face twisted as if he ate something unpleasant.

“I meant what I said, Rookie. Keep your private affairs private. There is no place for it here.” Not looking at her, keeping his eyes trained on the file in front of him.

“What is your problem, dr. Ramsey?” she asked and her tone surprised him. He was expecting her to shout at him, he was prepared to ask her to leave. But she sounded hurt. In so much pain, enough to much his own.

He raised his eyes to meet hers. They were looking into each other’s souls, seeing all the pain but neither of them said anything.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dr. Herondale.” He put his guard up, again.

“I know you think it is best if you just cut me out and ignore me. I get that. But if you really wanted to play for one night and…” she didn’t get the chance to finish her previous sentence.

He felt as though she slapped him with her words. He stood up abruptly, crossing the room in quick, long strides, locking the door and pinning her to them, his hands on either side of her head, their faces centimeters apart, breathing the same air.

“_What_ are you talking about? Do you really think that’s what I wanted? To have you for one night? Play with you and then abandon you? Pretend that nothing happened between us?” he sounded hurt, her words an insult to him.

“What else am I supposed to think? Dr. Ramsey…”

“Ethan.” He interrupted, his eyes flashing.

“Ethan. What else am I supposed to think? We kissed. We almost…” she trailed off, her cheeks turning a deep shade of pink.

“We almost what, Claire?” he teased her, leaning even closer to her.

“We almost made love, Ethan.” She whispered breathlessly, her eyes locking with his.

“Yes, that would appear to be right.” He mused, a soft smile on his lips.

“And right before anything could happen, you stopped. And then you ignored me. You didn’t want to talk to me.”

“I did talk to you.” he protested but he knew what she meant.

“You know that’s not what I meant. All our talk was strictly professional. And what was that today? I get that you’re angry with me but why do you act like this towards other people?” confusion was painted all over her face, laced with pain.

“_Angry with you?_ Oh no, that’s not what is happening. I’m not angry with you.”

“Then what is it? You’ve been avoiding me, being nothing but rude and unpleasant toward me and my friends…”

He took her by surprise. She didn’t expect to be interrupted. _By a kiss_.

His lips touched hers, starved for her taste, her scent, her touch, the feel of her body against his. He was getting drunk on her, his hands still against the door, almost as if he was afraid to touch her.

“I’m not angry with you. Far from it, actually. I am… _jealous._” His voice got quiet at the end, she couldn’t make out what he said.

“Could you repeat the last word? You got so quiet…” she whispered, still stunned from the kiss.

“I’m jealous, okay?” he said louder this time round, his hands forming fists against the door.

“Why?” she asked incredulously, her hand touching his cheek with care, softly running her fingers along his skin. He leaned into her touch, his cheeks turning pink.

“For a whole week I had to see you surrounded by all those men, wanting what I wanted.”

“What _do_ you want?”

“_You. I want all of you. _I want to be there for you in the morning, throughout the day, in the evening and all through the night. I want to support you, be your biggest fan, your safe place to land the way you are for me. I want to be your everything. _If you’ll have me_.” He whispered, vulnerability clear on his face and in his posture.

Her eyes softened. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve, opening himself up to her for the first time. He was letting her see him, _all of him_, letting his guard down, trusting her not to break him, to _save him_.

She leaned in and placed her lips back on his, smiling through the tears that started flowing from her eyes. He gathered her in his arms, holding her close, his body relaxing instantly. He felt his own cheeks getting wet and leaned back concerned.

“Hey, what is it?” he moved one of his hands to her face, wiping the tears away.

“Thank you. For opening up to me, I know how much you don’t like to do that.”

“It’s not that I don’t like to do it. I just never had the person to open up to. Now I do.” He pecked her nose, both of her cheeks, her forehead, before finally going back to her lips.

The kiss had new energy. He found his confidence again, his emotions all in there, his need for her, his pain caused by his stubbornness. He laughed mid-kiss, picking her up and spinning her around, breaking the kiss to laugh. She held on to him for dear life, but she knew he wouldn’t drop her. She trusted him more than anyone.

They sat down on the couch in his office, his arms around her, her legs thrown over his, kissing slowly and lazily.

“Ethan… what are we going to do now?” she asked quietly, her fingers running up and down his arm, the muscles moving under her touch.

“We cannot tell anyone. At least not yet. I still don’t want to compromise your career just because I can’t control my emotions and wants and needs.” He said slowly, his voice low, his lips capturing hers again.

“I don’t mind keeping it a secret for a while. But I don’t think I will be able to stay away from you.”

“You won’t have to. Because I’m not planning on staying away from you either.” His eyes burned with desire, his arms moving her so she’s straddling him, holding her close and hard.

“Ethan, you do know that there is nothing between me and Bryce, right? I only want you.” she looked into his eyes, seeing his embarrassment.

“I… thank you. For not giving up on me. For being here for me.”

“You have me and I have you. For as long as you’ll want me.” She whispered softly, kissing the place where his heart is.

”You’re all I need.” He hugged her to his chest, silence falling between them.

They agreed to keep their relationship in the hospital a secret, sticking to Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Herondale. But behind closed doors they were just Ethan and Claire, two people who needed only each other to survive.

They went to Naveen to check his test results and do some more research, both of them stealing glances when they thought the other wasn’t looking. But Naveen was. Claire had to go, one of her patients had some complications that needed her assistance. He touched her arm, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” he smiled at her and she smiled back before saying goodbye to Naveen and leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

“I told you so.” Ethan turned to look at his mentor. He had a sly grin on his face.

“Oh, what now.” the young attending blushed a little, his eyes on the door where she was just minutes ago.

“I’m happy. For both of you. You deserve happiness.”

“… thank you, Naveen. You pushed me in the right direction.”

“Oh Ethan. You just needed a little push.”

That night they were laying in his bed, cuddling after a long day of hard work. Their bodies were melted together, relaxed for the first time in a very long time.

They both were happy.


End file.
